That seems unreasonable for you to have to fly out there since you are the primary parent as far as custody goes. I think he she fly to you. If he disagrees, you may need to get the courts on your side stating that it is inconvenient for all of you to fly there, instead of him flying to Washington.

Have you asked him if he would be opposed to that. Since you do have legal custody, and because your child is so young, I imagine if it became a problem the judge would side with you if it went to court. Traveling that far, or staying with someone they don't know over night can be tramatic for a child who can't understand what is going on. I would set this limitation for you and your ex. It seems reasonable and that you are protecting your child, not using this as a control tactic. Good Luck!

Primary and Physical Costody rules here : you have the child and if he wants to see it he need to come the child not the child come to him , no judge / court would rule in his favor, and tell to to take that young of a child that far .It's not in the best interest of the child, and thats how the Judge / court would look at it , " Whats in the best interest of the child "

Your Ex can live in a motel for a week alot easier than you and a 2 year old can , it would so inconvient for you to travel that far with a the child and all its needs .
In my opinion it's time to put your foot down and tell him: he is welcome to come and see his child any time he likes and that you wish he would put forth some effort to see his child that he has not seen for a year. I think paying for his motel is just too nice of you , obviously you want him to see his son .