Fixing your problem is very easy indeed. Get a divorce. A successful marriage requires mutual love, trust, intimacy and respect. There is obviously none of that in your marital relationship. You should have filed for divorce a long time ago . . . whining husband or not.

Ever read Cosmopolitan? THey have the best sex advice!

Instead of hurting someone in the hopes that they will leave you, if your unhappy you should move on. In the long run you might have some self-respect left.

COWGIRL UP! If your not happy, then YOU need to leave. That is not fair to him or to anyone else that you may be involved with. I don't know about you, but the sex can't be too bad if your doing it 4 times a week! In my opionion, you guys don't have a problem with sex, YOU do.
YOU need to decide what you want and need in a relationship and let him know what you need and want. If he can't comply or it is out of his comfort zone, OR if this one is just not fitting the bill, please let him go. Maybe he could be happier with someone else too.
I have been married to the same man for 20 years and we are not to active in the sex department, but we spend alot of time together and with our daughters (15&12) and enjoy just being together. Yes the intimacy is great, but between work, church, Girl Scouts, house upkeep and all, there just doesn't seem to be time & energy most of the time. But it makes you appreciate the times you do have sex much more! I have NEVER had the thought to go out on him.

Have you ever thought that maybe hes not happy with you and therefore sex is just sex to him? Maybe with his girlfriend that he loves, making love is special and worth his time to please her. If you had cheated on me I wouldn't care if I brought you any pleasure either.

Take everyones advice here and leave the poor guy.

From what you've said, he takes you completely for granted and only worries about what he wants in bed. The best sex is when both are trying their level best to please the other, NOT just themselves. I won't tell you that you should leave him, but, you at least need to confront him. If he starts whining all you can do is try to stay strong and not be influenced by the act. If he really cared that much he would try to make things better instead of just maintaining the status quo.

O.k. first of all a great marriage is one that is more than just about sex. A great marriage is a relationship that two people are working on and building together each and every day for the rest of their lives together. It is being considerate of one another (and cheating is not being considerate), being supportive when the other one is down and needs to talk, a marriage is a commitment to things not seen or yet told. Marriage and love is a walk in the park holding hands, it is sitting in the living room or at the table talking about your day, it is a quick kiss on the lips on your way out the door in the morning. It is going to church together on Sundays, or to your families house on a holiday. It is lying in bed together lightly touching skin. Yes, sexuality and intimacy is very important, but it is not the most important. When you work on all the other things and learn to enjoy life and your marriage then the intimacy will become better between you both. Please realize that just because someone is better at meeting your sexual desires they may not be everything else you need in your life. Sex is short lived. Someone can be really "hot and steamy" in the bedroom, but treat you like a doormat out of the bedroom. You never know, "the grass is not always greener on the other side." I do recommend that you don't cheat. Buy books and movies that you can watch together that will also help. Good LucK!

Daym ...umm its pretty easy answer...do you love him enough?is it sex you just want...well be a player and dont get caught..Why do you tell him your gonna cheat that is not smart...I think its not ony sex you want its his attention..if its just sex your missing im sure you can some somewhere..just dont get caught

Well perhaps you two need to go to a sex therapist. They will work out intamacy issues and learn how to touch How bout a romantic vacation? If you are that unhappy I agree with the rest just divorce and go on with your life. But first try the Sex Therapist and if he is two pump chump then maybe buy one of those things that keeps it going and going lol Viagra or something Get hubby to go to the Doc may be something wrong and as for the no foreplay he is probably pickin up on your not into it attitued or something Well good luck !

Run!

What are you afarid of ---he is not the only one who can file form a divorce , is it money or possesions , all you are doing is trying to do is hurt him and that will backfire too. you found some reason to stay several times and a whining man aint it . figure out what you want in life and who you want in your life and go from there.===i am not a very religous person but i do know church is a good place to seek what you cant find elseware and some times an excellent place to start.

Bring another girl into the bedroom ....lol

Have you told him that you feel this way? that should be the first thing you do.

also, he is much older then you, he is coming out of his sexual prime, and you are going into yours. that is one challenge of having an 11 year age difference between the two people.

maybe you could use toys, or other things to help the sex life between you two

You have been married long enough. Sex in a long term marriage may not be mind blowing but it usually is a lot of fun. Stand up for what you want maybe see a sex therapist but do something. I don't think it's that he cries is why you don't want a divorce I think it's you are afraid to be alone. Being alone is not that bad.

well i hate to say this but the same thing happend to me im now divorced it something about the same dull thing. some time the best thing to do is move good luck

Try getting one of those massaging shower heads and give it a whirl.