Is there any way that I can get my husband to sign the paper to agree for our child support without acually getting a lawyer?

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Asked 7/7/2009

The divorce is not confirmed decision for us/me yet but definitely the possible option for me now, am thinking about going back to my home country(Japan) for a while at least to get some separation time from him. It could be a month, three months, or I might just stay there for good. Now we have a not a even month old baby girl. He doesn't like the idea of me and a baby going home, yet doesn't even talk about the divorce/paperwork for the child support. He doesn't wanna sign any paper but says that he'll send checks for it if it comes to it. I've contacted Legal on base since he's active duty, they said they can make things official(Notary) but can't help us with settling down on anything, we need to get a lawyer in town if we don't agree on some. But I'm housewife now and I'd managed to transfer some money before he took me off his account, I'm living off my savings and also having the possible divorce, can't and don't wanna afford the lawyer. So my first question is that can I get my husband sign the child support agreement without involving a lawyer and while separation, not a divorce? And if we need to fight for custdy for a baby, does he get a better chance since I'm a stayinghome-mom now and he has a steady pay check?

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Answer 1/1 - Submitted 7/7/2009

Technically, you don't need to get a lawyer. Its recommended because they can give you legal advice, and possibly mediate between the two of you to agree on terms. If the two of you can agree on the terms of your divorce on your own, you can eliminate the cost of the lawyer. Its not common to have signed child support paperwork during a separation, but if you want to draw up your own contract, the military legal department can notarize it for you. If not, you will have to trust that he will send you payments.

If you fight for custody, he has little to no chance of it being granted to him. First off, custody is generally granted to the mother. Secondly, since he is active duty in the military, his work hours could change at any time, he will have to be deployed, and will be unavailable to raise a child full time. The military would not allow him to have full custody, but they will mandate that parts of his paychecks go to you for the child's care. After a divorce, you will no longer be considered a dependent of his, but the child will be. And he will be held financially responsible.

Since you are just in separation mode right now, you can probably avoid a lawyer. But when it comes time for a divorce (should you choose to have one), you should probably get one to make sure all the terms are fair and agreed upon.

Good luck!

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