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Asked 12/22/2010

Mid 40's supported by spouse for 20 years, now she want's a divorce. help!

I Was informed that my wife was filing for divorce just before Thanksgiving (great timing huh?) She had inherited quite a lot of money right after we married, so I never needed to work to live a good lifestyle. I have tried unsuccessfully to work for myself in the past but it never earned me anything useful to add to an already near empty resume. Now I'm in my mid 40's without any real marketable job skills and almost no money. Everything we owned was inherited so I am not legally entitled to any of it, or any spousal support for that matter, since (as my attorney informed me) it was my choice not to work. I have no college education and am truly worried about my financial future. How does one start over at this age with less work experience than the average 22 year old?

 
 
 
 
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Answer 1/4 - Submitted 12/22/2010

Listen i'm 25 years old, i have no college degree either, and i 'm starting my life over to as well, plus i have a child and i live with the mother and her dad now thats rough. Buddy the best thing i can tell u is this don't give up on urself. Look inside urself, what ever job experience u do have put on a resume and a job will be calling u sooner or later but don't give up on urself just keep trying man

 
 

Answer 2/4 - Submitted 12/22/2010

First you have to get the best attitude to face your situation. Life is a journey full of lessons to be learned from people and events. Look at this divorce as a challenge to test your mettle.. you will grow from this and learn about your innate talents and abilities . Try to get your soon-to-be ex-wife to pay for you to go to a job counseling service that gives you a test that assesses your personality, skills, interests. They will then suggest possible fields of employment for you. Read the Job classifieds and see what attracts your interests. Can you use a computer? Do you have people skills? ARe you a good listener? Look into yourself and visualize yourself working in different places. You can ALWAYS find a job with the right attitude. What have you been doing with your life? You must have developed and pursued some interests.. start there. Is it exercise? Clothing? Books? ETc. Hope this helps. Even if you start working in McDonalds, you will learn and grow as a person .. don't think of what others may think of you.. just keep focussed on some goal and you'll keep moving up

 
 

Answer 3/4 - Submitted 12/22/2010

It is NEVER too late to start over. Go to college, get a degree, a masters, a PhD! There is a whole world out there just waiting for you through academia. Not only will you find yourself with educational qualifications, but you will end up more well rounded and confident in yourself. My Mom went to school for her degree in Interior Design when she was 50. Not only did she have the challenge of her age, but English is her second language. Well, she got her degree, but something much more too, the sense of personal achievement. Now she is a teacher by choice, and proud that she has her degree. A degree is something NOBODY can ever take away from you! Go to school! You have nothing to loose and everything to gain with an academic career!

 
 

Answer 4/4 - Submitted 12/26/2010

Thanks for the advice! I can see how a change in my attitude will definitely help matters. This whole thing has been such a shock that I feel like I'm stuck on an emotional roller-coaster at the moment. I have always been interested in the medical field, so that is where I would like to end up. But as you said McDonald's isn't out of the question for now. Hopefully once I can get on my feet financially, I will be able to apply for student loans and grants and start back to school. Again thanks for the help.

 
 
 
 
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