If I were in your situation and my wife cheated on me with another man and the current child is his and not yours is divorce A.S.A.P. You do not have to wait on them at all, you should file first for the divorce. Call every single lawyer in your area for a consultation, this will make it hard for her to find a good divorce attorney. Make sure you consult with the very best divorce lawyers in your area. Conflict of interest will make it hard for her to get a good lawyer. You have no obligation to that child unless you adopt it. I would take half of everything and put it up good, perhaps move it into a family members name. You do not have to wait for anything, you can file for the divorce anytime, and you should not wait too long.

File NOW for the divorce. Their actions and child are not your responsibility or any of your concern. You do not have to wait on them to get situated before you can leave, you have the right to file for divorce whenever you want, and because of your situation I would suggest you do so soon, so that you dont get dragged into their predicament.

Have you signed a Denial of Paternity? Is your name on the birth certificate? If you don't deny paternity, then the biological father will not be able to become the child's legal father. Because you are still married following the baby's birth, your denial of paternity would have to come before the biological father's acknowledgement of paternity or else the issue could be taken to court to make this happen.

As it is, the bio father will still have to prove he is the father of that child which means you may be subject to DNA testing to rule you out. Talk to your divorce lawyer about these options and perhaps by the time the divorce is finalized, you will not be haunted by all this backlash about the baby.

You can file for divorce and you can also state that you are not the father, a partenty test would need to be done, if you are not the father the courts will not make you pay child support, are you srue your not the father? Also if you want to consent to allow the father to take a DNA test to prove partenty this is your choice as well. Let him be the one to pay child supprt, your the victim here not him.